Seventy Seven Times

I think one of the hardest things we are called to do as human beings is forgive one another. For me, part of the reason it is so difficult is that I don't really know how to forgive someone. Forgiveness has the confusing attribute of being both an action and a feeling, which makes it rather difficult to define. We find so many stories with the theme of forgiveness, from The Count of Monte Cristo to The Color Purple to The Kite Runner, yet each of these stories addresses forgiveness in a different way.

I have thought on many occasions "Oh yes, I have forgiven this person" but then I see them or speak to them and I am faced with this heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me otherwise. At my core I believe that I am truly willing good for them, but you can love someone without forgiving them.

There's a certain reality that we need to face when confronting the issue of forgiveness, and that is our own self-awareness. As one of my faith inspirations pointed out to me today, we tend to hold others
to the same expectations that we hold ourselves. But that really is not fair to the people we interact with, especially when we reflect on our own actions and realize we have not lived up to our own expectations.

The Lord's Prayer has a beautiful way to remind us about forgiveness: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us," and this is even more beautifully illustrated in a parable Jesus shares in Matthew 18. This parable tells the story of a man with an immense debt to a king. The king hears the man's cries to relinquish him from debt, and the king does so. Then the man turns around and holds another man responsible for his debt, despite the other man's pleas to forgive the debt. The first man does not forgive him, but has him thrown in jail. The king calls the man back, furious that his mercy was not passed on, and requires that the man repay his debt because he was not merciful enough to forgive the debts of others. The parable ends by stating that God will be like the king toward any person who does not unconditionally forgive others.

Forgiveness is not easy, but it is one thing God asks us to do for one another. We are called to unconditionally forgive because we are unconditionally forgiven by Him.

"So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from the heart." ~Matthew 18:35

Pax,
Kay